Taking Chances.

Do we automatically go into a relationship looking to fall in love? Or do some of us just see how it goes?

Well, what happens when it starts to fall apart and you’re no longer the ‘loving’ couple that you used to be? We get back up, after a few tubs of ice cream or whatever, and try to ‘fall’ again. Why do we do this to ourselves?

By the time trust has been established, you’ve already invested a lot of time and heart into this relationship. Yet, the probability is it’s just going to waste because not many things last anymore.

Ok, I’m being a bit cynical  To be fair love is the best feeling, nothing else matters and your just in this happy little ‘honeymoon’ bubble. Well guess that bubble always has to pop… which isn’t always a bad thing… not always.

The Nest.

About 3 months ago I left my house to start paying rent at my girlfriend’s. It worked out to be a sensible thing to do for uni (student finance sucks)

But, since I am the only child, I can understand my mum is having a really hard time letting go of me and so I go round there at least once a week. However, when she asks me what I’ve been up too and I tell her I went out drinking she BANNED me from drinking for a little while and gave me a long lecture about how it is dangerous to do what I did.. HOW HYPERCRITICAL.

So, last night I went out for a meal and had 1 alcoholic drink (I don’t like being told I can and can’t do things after I’m legally allowed) but, to be fair, I wont be drinking for a while anyway. The streets of Essex are safe once again!

On the flip side my dad doesn’t even care that I left. The day I did, all he said was ‘keep in touch with the family’ ouch. Then, when I came round he slept until I left. Only once has he had a semi-decent conversation with me and it was about money and some programme on the telly. I know he never shows me any emotion but wow.

Ok, should probably start getting ready for this ‘freshers fair’ wish me luck in this horrible weather!

Another Night To Say Goodbye.

Going out tonight with two of my friends I’ve known since year 7. One of them I used to be so close with. I love them both. I know I’ve got more people to say goodbye to but this is a girl I thought I was in love with for 2 years, we had some weird friendship, never talked about anything serious – that was the deal. Until last weekend, she actually told me her opinion and the truth. But tonight we’re just going to get drunk (well for me tipsy) and the bus ride home should be interesting 🙂

Next week I’m taking one of my straight friends (who used to be homophobic) to a gay bar. Should be interesting how many butches try to take her home.

We’ve all said goodbye to eachother twice before at parties and stuff and it got a little emotional (one of our friends wrote us all thank you cards!) but now this weekend two are leaving and it is the final time. Next weekend more people move so really need to hurry up and say goodbye. Not allowed to get emotional!

Just a growing-up process, have to move on.

The Casual ‘Coming Out’

I’ve seen that alot of people have made a post about their coming out experience. Some of them were pretty harsh. But I did mine a little bit differently…

I had just come back from a trip to checkout a uni and obviously I was hungry, I wanted my damn kebab! I don’t know how the conversation with my mum got onto one of my (many) gay/lesbian friends, but it did. My mum just stated ‘yer, but she has no chance with you because you’re straight’

me: No i’m not *carries on walking, texting and listening to music*

Naturally my mum stopped, quite taken back by this casual revelation: …What?

Me: No, I’m not straight. Can we go get my kebab now? I’m really hungry.

Then she asked if I was seeing this girl that I kept talking about, which I was (and still am) and she was like ‘i thought you liked her’

EASY

Still never told my dad face to face. He knows, but still calls her my ‘friend’

BUT that was nothing to how I told my family… I text them all! Over a year into my relationship and I text them saying I was gay. Some of them pretend to be ok with it but bitch behind my back but one of my aunts phoned me! Most awkward conversation ever! But now all my family ask how she is and buy her chocolate bunnies, even offering for her to stay if I visit them. Not bad for a family that were raised to be strict Catholics 🙂

This is why I like casual conversations, no drama 😀

Feel Far Too Comfortable Around My Friends

This morning (about 10 minutes ago) I text my friend and woke her up – Oops. She replied ‘I’m still naked in bed’ just the image I wanted to kick-start the day, nakedness! But why do conversations like that always escalate? No wonder people always get the wrong idea of me and my friends.

The worst one is waking up next to you guy friend both half naked. Neither of us batted an eyelid. He even now remarks on my boobs ‘oh, they’ve gotten bigger!’ me: yours have gotten smaller, well done

No, he is not gay, we just feel really comfortable around each other.

We spoon each other, grope each other, undress in front of each other. So my question is: is it weird that me and my friends all do this or is it nice that we’re just that close?

Old Married Couples

The stereotypical ones. You know. They fight, they don’t talk, the passion seems to have died. So, the question is, why on Earth do they stay together? Is it because they still love each other? Is it because they like the way their relationship is? (doubtful) Or, is it because they’ve entered the familiar rut and they feel that they’ve been in it too long and it can either; only get better or they just stay the same and that they can live with being in a non-passionate, uncommunicative relationship?

Just a question that’s been bugging me for a while…

Sitting there in my old school sixth form with my friend made us realise that nothing is going to stay the same. The school is being rebuilt to a ‘better’ standard. Though, I don’t think ‘better’ means to make it look more like a hospital and less like the school we all went to for 7 years. So, we took pictures, had some coffee, basically just trying to relive the last 2 years of A-level. But all the things we used to talk about are irrelevant. Things have changed. Almost everyone is moving off to different universities, we all have to face the fact that we’re probably not going to see most of our friends again. We had fun. We Re-lived it a little. But that will probably be the last time we will ever feel ‘on top’ of the student food chain (until we get our degrees i suppose). Best time of my life was with my friends there and it’s hard to let go of.

Guess it’s time to start all over again.

Change